By Will

Wednesday, Oct. 5 — I woke up this morning shouting “Gravy” — which is actually Greve in Chianti. And then we went to Greve and I got a wooden ax, a rubber-band gun and a wooden sword. We looked for a table cloth for Mike and Helen, but didn’t find it. Then we got some pastries. I don’t really like pastries in Italy.

And then we left and went to Montefiorelle, a tiny walled town. First we passed it and were accidentally going somewhere else. But we turned around and found it. It is described as a perfect walled town. There was nobody outside; only about 50 people, maybe a hundred live there, because it’s so small. I had fun walking around the town, there was a narrow cobblestone street all the way around inside the wall.

Elizabeth got sick. Then we went to Castello de Verrazzano. It was a stupid wine-tasting place. I got some pretty good pasta, and some really bad grape juice. (Ed. note: It was the birthplace of the Verrazzano who sailed up New York Harbor.)

Then we went to Panzano. (Ed. Note: We were going to see the Butcher of Panzano, a well-known figure, but a Dutch TV crew beat us to him.) We didn’t really do much there, but there was this really stupid Norwegian guy from a TV crew who said, “He is really, really famous,” and he was yelling at people to get out of the way of the camera. We went to gelato and I had chocolate chip; it was pretty good.

Then we went back home. Then I went swimming. I swam for awhile and then got out. Dad and I jumped in right where mom and Helen were sitting and they got all wet. Then we decided that we would all go to Rome tomorrow. I got super bored as mom was ordering the tickets.

Then this lady named Delfa, who was cooking at our villa, she made lasagna, and I don’t like lasagna, but she made some really good chicken and some good potatoes, and some lettuce with olive oil on it. I got sick at dinner. Then I went to bed and woke up every single hour.

Then I woke up in the morning and mom and dad didn’t go to Rome because I am sick. Only Helen and Mike went. I was pretty sick in the morning. But I’m getting better right now. (To Will’s classmates: “Bob the stuffed bear spent the night under my bed because dad knocked him off.”) That’s all for now.

On Tuesday, we drove into Florence. It was a long drive. We were following Rob. Rob has this job that he goes into these dangerous zones, like war zones and stuff, and leads a television news crew. He said he’s never lost a crew – until now. It was all going fine until we got into the city of Florence. We were driving along and a car swerved in and almost hit Rob’s car, right where Benjamin was sitting. But it didn’t. Rob crossed a bridge cars were not supposed to be on. So now we were driving through a city with pedestrians everywhere, where cars weren’t supposed to be. It was for authorized personnel only, like police. The streets were really narrow. And I was scared, a little. Like we were being honked at, or yelled at, by a lot of people. Then there was a bridge where we could go over to the other side. Rob kept going straight, but we ditched him and turned. We went across the bridge, and eventually came to a parking garage, and called Rob. We were safe!

Dad said there’d be amazing gift shops. So far I haven’t seen any. Then we walked into the main square with a giant dome and two towers. The line to go into the dome was like really long. So we decided to just go into the tower. It was hard enough walking on the straight stairs, but then we got to this really super crammed in spiral stairs. We made it to the third level, then a huge bell started ringing, it was noon, just as we were getting into the stairway again. So we had to wait while the bell was like shaking the tower, with echoes. It was horrible. Mom was claustrophobic and so she didn’t come. It was only me, dad, Mike and Helen. Mike was always the last to come up. Then we got to the top. It was cool. There were four hundred fourteen steps. The view was incredible.

Then we were walking along the streets of Florence. No gift shops. Everything was either super duper expensive, or junk. But next time we go to Florence on Thursday, these guys sell these things that go splat when you throw them on the concrete, then you pick them up and they come back together, and you can throw them again. (Dad typed that and made it sound kind of boring.)

Then we had lunch and gelato afterward. Then we went to the Uffizi Museum, which is world famous. I don’t like paintings. Not one bit. So we got into the museum, and I saw a bunch of sculptures in the hallway. I like sculptures. Then we went into the rooms. They were all paintings. I didn’t enjoy it. But then dad said I could get an extra wooden sword if I didn’t complain. Eventually, we left.

I didn’t like my dinner; it was extra cheesy pizza. Then we drove home. That was my day.

By Will Attig

Sorry I could not say what I did yesterday. I was super busy! The people I talked about yesterday their names are Mike, Helen, Rob, Elizabeth and Ben. Ben is a little kid and he is one year old. He likes to scream real loud at 6 in the morning. Rob is funny and has the most cool stories about his job. Elizabeth is also super duper nice and she can’t go to all the hill towns with us because she has to take care of Ben. Helen is very nice and is moving and HATES her job so she is going to quit. Mike is super duper funny and he never seems to be in a bad mood. Helen and Mike never wake up early.

Yesterday we went to San G. It was very beautiful. My mom went into a church with everybody else but Rob and I stayed behind. Daddy said there’d be good gift shops, but their wasn’t. The gelato (I had berry) was very good. Then I started to feel jet lagged and super tired, and wanted to go back. So we walked down a road, and I said we should go to the other road, because I knew it had gift shops, but dad said a different road, and so we went down that road, and there were no gift shops.

We were all really thirsty, so on the way home we stopped at a gas station and got some drinks. My mom accidentally got me a very caffeinated ice tea, and a chuppa chew, a special lollipop. At the airport I saw chuppa chews bigger than a baseball. This one wasn’t that big.

We started driving home. Mom said we should go a different way than the GPS system said. So we did. Then we got stuck behind a tractor pulling a wagon full of grapes for wine. We were driving through vineyards and past old castles and it was really pretty. Eventually we got back to the villa.

We went swimming. The pool feels like minus 30 degrees. But it’s refreshing if you jump in. When you jump in your feet get all numb because it’s so cold. Then Ben and Rob came to the pool. Ben is super cute and can swim, only a little bit. His head goes under and everything. Ben started laughing hysterically when Rob shot his mother with a little squirt frog. Everytime she screamed, Ben laughed and laughed. Dad threw me in super duper high on my belly, and it hurt, a little, but I went super far out there.

Then we went to a restaurant and had dinner. There was all of these animal skulls and horns and guns hanging from the walls. There was a wild boar, too. It was really cool. The steaks were like two inches thick and they weren’t cooked very much. They were all bloody, the way people here like them. (I had one bite.)

Back at the villa, there’s like a million locks and bars on every single door. It’s really weird. The villa is like four hundred or five hundred years old.

That’s all for now. We’re going to Florence today for museums. Maybe gift shops, if dad doesn’t pick the streets.

NAPLES, ITALY, Wednesday, March 23, 201 — Hold on to your belongings because Naples will take everything, including your breath, away. Pickpockets and scammers are there to greet you when get off the fast train from Rome. The taxi driver has a scheme to take you for an extra five euros, or on the longest, wildest roundabout ride of your life to the national archaeological museum that’s only about a mile away, if he would only take the most direct route there.

We reluctantly chose the latter option, and careened down the overwhelmed streets of Naples and managed, within 20 unforgettable minutes, to hit two pedestrians and narrowly miss scores more. No one was seriously hurt, we think, but one thump nearly took off a side mirror and the second perhaps left a slight dent in the hood. Not to worry: Everything and everyone in Naples seems to be wounded in some way. I have no pictures, because I was reluctant to risk taking out my camera, even to capture the faded beauty of the colorful buildings and full-of-life streets. The museum was a metaphor for this fascinating and broken city, home to a world-class collection of statuary, mosaics and painted walls from Pompeii and Rome but carelessly maintained, only partially open and lacking lighting in several key rooms. However, I did note that the room full of pornographic mosaics and other brothel art from Pompeii, described to Will as the “Naughty Room,” was very well lit. (BTW he did not see the naughty room.) And so it goes in Naples, a city we will never forget, but were nonetheless relieved to put in our rear view mirror.

Pompeii, though, we will happily carry with us forever. The shattered top of Mount Vesuvius, a huge dark shadow looming over the once thriving resort town near the sea, with gorgeous villas, more modest homes, bakeries, a theater, music hall and even an amphitheater for gladiatorial games. Once we escaped the tour groups at the entrance, we were entranced by the long empty stone streets, creased by ancient ruts, studded with large elevated paving stones so you could cross the street without getting your feet wet. The shells of once luxurious villas stood roofless, often blocked off to visitors, but inside, they held marvels of wall frescoes, statuary (mostly at the Naples museum), and floor mosaics. Around every corner, we’d run into little thermapolea, the ancient version of fast-food restaurants, with very modern looking stone-tiled counters, with basins to hold the hot food. We saw mill-stones and pizza ovens, gorgeous peristyle courts and basins for catching rainwater. Everywhere, Will spotted lizards darting up the exposed brick walls.

We walked and walked in the brilliant sunshine, Will darting in and out of the maze of rooms, some still carrying remnants of spectacular wall paintings, strolling through the grassy amphitheater, where gladiators battled to the death. We saw the Villa of the Mysteries, with its gorgeous wall frescoes, narrated for us by a Japanese tour guide, the only other people who ventured that far out of the city walls. They marveled at Will, dodging one of the sweet but hungry dogs, who roamed the villa. Inu wa inu, they said. Dogs will be dogs.

Finally, we made it back to Rome, so glad to be back in a somewhat less chaotic city. The crazy driving here seems so tame compared to Napoli. We had a lovely dinner at Costanze, an old restaurant set into the theater of Pompey, where Julius Caesar was murdered. It was lovely, the food very good, and we are now ready to collapse.

I hope everyone is well. We decided tonight at dinner that Rome is our favorite city in Europe. You must all visit some time….

We staggered into Rome Saturday afternoon, all of us pretty burned up from 13 hours of flight time from Portland to Amsterdam to Rome. We almost had to bail on our trip — and after all those hours of trying to hear the television over the sound of Courtenay learning Italian — because Will came home Thursday night exhausted and feverish again, apparently down with his second virus in about three weeks. We talked about trying to delay things, come later, but the doctor on Friday pronounced Will more or less good to go, and he, as always, was game.

The flight to Amsterdam seemed long to us, but probably not to the mother from Dunthorpe who situated her two young children, ages 4 and 6, with their nanny in coach, and then spent the whole flight sitting in first class, coming back exactly once during the nine-hour flight to check on the kids. Not a mother of the year candidate. I spent the flight with the sweet little girl’s kicking feet on my lap.

We are happily situated in Hotel Raphael, near the Piazza Navone in downtown Rome. It was very crowded on the cobblestone streets tonight, and Will was too tired to deal well with the traffic and the crowds. We had a terrific pizza, so light and crispy, hit a gelato shop and returned to the hotel. Courtenay’s ambitious night walk, with the Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, Spanish Steps and other highlights, will have to wait.

Hope everyone is doing well at home.